Dr. Shelton

Today I had my long awaited appointment with Dr. Shelton. In a way, it was a big relief to have him confirm that it is a benign tumor and that it is an acoustic neuroma. I was somewhat disappointed that I don't have a lot more information than what I already knew. He seemed genuinely surprised that I knew so much about acoustic neuromas. Really? Do a lot of people get diagnosed with a brain tumor and not research it??? Here is what I did find out. He recommends the Translabyrinthine approach. This involves an incision behind your ear. The mastoid and inner ear structures are removed to expose the tumor. The tumor is then removed. The mastoid defect is closed with fat taken from the abdomen. This approach sacrifices the hearing and balance mechanism in the inner ear. I know what some of you are thinking? At least you are getting a tummy tuck with this. NOPE, I wish. The fat graft from your stomach is nothing like a tummy tuck. I have heard it actually leaves your stomach looking somewhat deformed. Not that my children didn't already do that. This approach gives the surgeon the clearest view of the facial nerve. There is a 50/50 chance that I will have some type of temporary facial nerve damage. As long as the facial nerve is not severed, most people will recover over time and no signs of facial nerve damage will remain. This is my biggest concern. I am hoping and praying that my facial nerve will not be damaged during the surgery especially since saving my hearing is not an option. I actually have all of my hearing back at this point. I am enjoying it while it lasts! There are small risks of meningitis, cerebrial spinal fluid leak, or needing a blood transfusion. The doctor actually recommended I donate a unit of my own blood before the surgery in case they need to do a transfusion. Dr. Shelton is so busy that his surgeries are booked through January. I do not have a definitive date for my surgery (I will on Monday when his office assistant calls). I want to say thank you for all the love and support that my family and I have received at this time. From prayers to meals to texts or calls, I have been overwhelmed. Thank you for all the love and support. We are so grateful to have such wonderful family and friends.

Perspective

In the middle of August, I suffered sudden hearing loss. I went to the instacare and they told me I had fluid in my inner ear and that if I took sudafed it would clear right up. I took sudafed, (it helped a little) and then they hearing loss came right back. I went to see and ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat specialist), they did lots of hearing tests and told me that I had nerve damage (most likely from a virus)and that my hearing was most likely gone. The ENT scheduled an MRI. He said that it is highly uncommon, but sometimes there is a growth on the brain that causes hearing loss...but it's uncommon. We were on our way to Disneyland when the ENT called and asked if I could come in for a follow-up appointment with my doctor. I told her that we were on vacation and I asked if they could tell me over the phone. She told me that I needed to come in and sounded concerned. I tried to forget about it while we were in Disneyland, but our phone conversation lingered in my mind. When we got home from Disneyland, I decided to look at the MRI images I had been given. It was very evident in these images that I had a tumor on my brain. I started freaking out. I started researching brain cancer statistics. They are not good. Especially if the tumor is malignant. My cousins wife works at Huntsman so I called her. She calmed me down quite a bit and suggested that I ask for a copy of the radiology report (if I couldn't get into see a doctor right away). I had an appointment scheduled for Wednesday, so I drove to the hospital to get a copy of the report. I was a mess the entire way. What would it say? What if it was malignant? We have three small children. I should let you know that I am the queen of wishing life away (I know I shouldn't), but sometimes I wish the twins were in preschool and that I could pee by myself every once in a while. Nothing will make you more grateful for the life you currently have than realizing that it might be taken away from you. When I got the copy of the radiology report I quickly read through what I could and what I couldn't understand. This is what I know so far. I have a large accoustic neuroma. Acoustic neuroma: A benign tumor that may develop on the hearing and balance nerves near the inner ear. The tumor results from an overproduction of Schwann cells -- small sheet-like cells that normally wrap around nerve fibers like onion skin and help support the nerves. When growth is abnormally excessive, Schwann cells bunch together, pressing against the hearing and balance nerves, often causing gradual hearing loss, tinnitus (ringing in the ears), and dizziness. If the tumor becomes large, it can interfere with the facial nerve, causing partial paralysis, and eventually press against nearby brain structures, becoming life-threatening. I have been referred to Dr. Shelton. He specializes in this type of tumor. He is apparently the only person in the state who performs these and is therefore, really busy. I most likely won't get into see him for 3 to 4 weeks and then I am hoping to have the tumor removed before the end of the year. I will have to shave a portion of my head :( I will have to have surgery on/near my brain :( I could suffer facial nerve damage and one side of my face might droop :( These are not fun to think about, but I am so unbelievably grateful that these types of tumors are benign. I am so grateful to have a doctor in Utah who specializes in these. A few people have made comments about Zacc and I having to go through a lot with his thyroid cancer and then this. I appreciate the concern of these people and their wanting good things for us, but I want to be very clear that Zacc and I do not feel that life is unfair. We have been so incredibly blessed by a loving Heavenly Father who is constantly taking care of us. There are so many others who have been through far more difficult trials. Thank you for all of the love and support we have received. We have amazing friends and family :)

Max and Kate???

My cute friend, Dani Davies, works for a scrap booking company, Memories and More. They were doing a photo shoot for a new product they were launching and Dani asked if Hayden and Caitlyn would model onesies for their shoot. I agreed. "Hayden" and "Caitlyn" had too many letters to fit on the hat, so for the shoot they were Max and Kate. I think the pictures turned out darling. Here are the twins at 4 months :)

Blessing Day

We blessed Hayden and Caitlyn last month and to my surprise, everything went pretty smoothly. Thank goodness for one o'clock church (I am not a fan every other week, but we would have never made it to an early meeting). Here are some pictures from the big day!

Here is the whole family



Hayden has a HUGE head! He still has a really hard time holding it up and that is probably why he is looking up in this picture. Even though his head might be slightly disproportionate to his body, I think he has the cutest little face ever :)



Caitlyn is the happiest baby I have ever seen. She really is always smiling. If you touch her, look at her, smile or talk to her, she is beside herself and can't stop smiling. Love this little girl!




Macey is a great big sister! She LOVES the babies and always wants to hold them or kiss their heads. She has breakdowns every now and again, but given all that she has gone through in the last 4 months, I think she is adjusting really well. Most of the time she is a big help to me and I am so grateful for her!



That's all for now. I promise to be better at posting when I can figure out how to get my kids to bed before 10:30.

A little bit of a circus...

The other day Macey wanted something and both Hayden and Caitlyn were crying, so I told her "just a minute Macey." She said "Mom, you're a little bit of a circus." Yes Macey, I am. Here is a little bit of background as to why we are such a circus.

In October we had the twins. One week after having the twins, Zacc called me to inform me had had been diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He wasn't having any problems or pain, but because thyroid cancer runs in his family and I am paranoid, I made him go and get checked. His first appointment showed that he had nodules on his thyroid. The doctor told him not to worry and that 50% of people have nodules on their thyroids. After having the nodules biopsied, we learned they were cancerous. Zacc had his thyroid removed in November and is currently on an iodine free diet in preparation for this radiation treatment on Friday. Apparently, thyroid cancer has a really high cure rate, which is wonderful news...learning that your husband has cancer when your twins are one week old is not such wonderful news.

The week after we found out that Zacc has cancer (the twins were two weeks old), Zacc presented his final project and graduated from Westminster and we rented out our townhouse and moved in with my parents while we continue to look for a house.

The twins are now 3 months old and Hayden is doing a lot better. Having him on two reflux medicines has made a world of difference. He doesn't scream every second he is awake. He is actually a pretty happy baby and smiles a ton. Caitlyn has always been super happy and is almost rolling over. I can't believe how fast the time has gone since they have been born (my pregnancy sure didn't go by quickly). Macey always tells me that she doesn't want the babies to be little. As much as I want them to be bigger so they will sleep through the night, I also want them to stay little...after all, these might be the last babies we have. Zacc and I are not sure how the radiation will effect his reproductive organs but feel very blessed to have three beautiful healthy kids. We really are so blessed :)

Things are crazy and I keep telling myself that someday things will all be better and we will look back at this crazy time in our lives and laugh. But for right now, Macey you are right...I am a little bit of a circus!

Hypocrite

I have never been a fan of private blogs. I have to log in to view them, I can't tell if they were recently updated, and it makes blog stalking a lot harder...jk...(well, kind of kidding). But after some random comments on my blog and some persuasion from Zacc, I am going to make our blog private. If you would like to read it (I promise I will post more often), please leave me your email in a comment. Thanks!

Newborn Pics :)

Remember not so long ago, when I won the photography giveaway from the talented Tracy Layne? Well, in case you don't remember, I won a free photography session from the amazing Tracy Layne and used it for Hayden and Caitlyn's newborn pics. Here are just a few, but I thought they turned out mighty cute if you ask me. Check them out here.